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Everything in this universe is a consequence of the play of polarity. The play between masculine and feminine energies, joining together in order to create in the most diverse forms and colors we can imagine. Our planet as well as our very own existence are the living proof of it.

As human beings we find it back, apart from procreation, in the interactions closest to us as "relationships". That is of course when you haven't discovered your own polarity yet, within ourselves as an individual. Each one of us, regardless of sexual gender, man or woman, is build up of masculine and feminine characteristics and energies.

Apart from the initial attraction in meeting someone, getting together, polarity is playing a fundamental role in the development of a relationship. Besides the attraction, which is the initial energy of coming together, repulsion, its counterpart is surfacing after some time, showing us the frictions and tensions as the second pole of the equation.

Sadly enough very often we only see the attraction pole as the reference for relationship. And than, when, "the relationship is not working" anymore, we separate. Repeating this pattern over and over again in the following relationships.

If we want a continuation of our relating, we have to come to a deeper understanding of the polarity and its working in ourselves as an individual and our relationship. And rather stopping with train station novel romanticism, roses and moonlight. Cos also roses have thorns.


The mind

The known

Reason & Logic

Solution oriented

Logical and linear thinking

Active energy

Out-going or penetrating energy



Must make 'sense'


What you think you need

Living to survive


Validity through achievement

The will

Hard & Rigid




Outcome oriented

Masc. - Femin characteristics.jpg

The heart

The unknown

Imagination & Creativity

Process oriented

Feeling, emotion & intuition

Passive energy

In-going or receiving energy



Innocence 'in no sense'


What you truly love

Living for joy


Validity through being


Soft & Tender




Process oriented

The dynamic

"the dynamic of polarity"

The closest knowledge we have in our culture is the science of the "Yin & Yang" symbol. But apart from knowing this symbol and some terminologies of both sides of the equation, we stay largely in the dark about its deeper meaning. And it goes a whole lot deeper than just some opposing poles who carry their opposite core.

Every man and every woman are featured by their corresponding masculine and feminine characteristics and energies. This can be seen as their predominant energy, either masculine for the man , and feminine for the woman. Besides this predominant component, each on of them also possess a smaller component of the opposing energy. In the Yin & Yang constellation it refers to the black core (the feminine) in the white area (masculine predominance) and the white core (the masculine) in the black area (feminine predominance).


In short, every man is build up of masculine characteristics but possesses also a smaller part of feminine characteristics. Just as a woman is characterized by her feminine characteristics but also possesses a smaller part of masculine characteristics.

The ratio of the respective components, masculine and feminine can vary from individual to individual. It is not a fix percentage, as we have men with a huge masculine predominance, and others with far less masculine components, similarly accounting for women. The dynamic of evolution will be the same, as it is the changing dynamic between the masculine and feminine.

Men understand quiet a lot about their masculine side, as it makes the man, according to the masculine characteristics which we'll see further down. From the feminine part in him, he doesn't understand 'nothing'. Just as women understand their feminine part gloriously, as being a woman, but she equally doesn't understand a thing about the masculine part in her self.

Now, throug a relationship, man and woman are coming together through attraction, at first. The dynamic between the two is one of screening, sensing in order to open the heart. This opening is based upon mutual trust, to oneself and the other. One evolves into a deeper and intenser connection with each other. All for one purpose, becoming one, everlasting and divine love.

But love is union, not only with the other, but also with oneself. Therefore, the feminine part in the man, the part which he doesn't understand, needs to grow. Which can only be done through the reflection of that component present in someone who is representing that component, a women. This growing is generated through the dynamic within himself, the purification of his ego and all impurities in regard of his own masculine characteristics, so the feminine part, the love in him can grow.

The same goes for women. Where she has to integrate the masculine part, which is present in her and connecting with the man. She has to purify her feminine impurities of her feminine energy in order to integrate through the relating of a man, her masculine side. It is her feminine side which longs for this masculine presence, so her rational part, her masculine part, can grow.

A relationship is the ideal breeding ground for this reflection and integration of the shadow side in each individual and the couple. When man and woman are understanding this dynamic for themselves, they will also understand that the integration of the individual shadow side will lead to individual harmony (proverbial expressed in, let's say 50 to 50 % masculine and feminine characteristics in each). Which represent a balanced individual and the transcendence of polarity, and thus eternal love.




Communication is by far the most important factor to come to understanding. If not of yourself, than certainly in the relating to others. Knowing that each individual is living in his or her little world and that we all make part of polarity, makes it a very challenging topic. The first requirement for communication is of course "presence".

The way you are present with someone determines the quality of your communication. All to often, if we are not busy in our own mind, with thoughts and patterns interfering, we are distracted by what we are doing in the meantime, generating an absence in our communication. You feel that the person is not really involved in the bubble with your. This, of course, leading to half words and understandings, escalating into another dynamic.


Know who you are

Your way of communicating is your way. The other is the other, thus, don't expect them to understand it like you do. Very often we take  our way of communication and transmitting our message for granted. As if we have our story clear in our head and that is the only way. There is though a difference between the story in your head, and how your are able to transmit the exact same image to your listener.

"Listening is the key"

The basis of communication are not words. Words are the tools we use in order to bring our message across. All to often we are distracted by our own mind, and its incessant thoughts during conversations. Sometimes even answering before the other has finished conveying his story.

"Men and women transmit different"

Also on this level, knowing a thing or two about the way a man or a woman are communicating, can facilitate your life tremendously. As man and woman are characterized by opposing characteristics, it is clear that each gender communicates with his or her tools by which they are characterized by. Men will, as rational solution oriented beings, communicate in these terms, which is completely the opposite source to women, who will express themselves from a state of being, based upon her feelings and emotions. And there we are, emitting signals on two different wavelengths. It is no wonder that misunderstanding and misinterpretation (when the mind is making his own story on the situation instead of really listening to what has been said) are causing distortion on the line, resulting in argumentation, quarreling and ultimately fighting. Very often derailed from the very subject we wanted to transmit or understood.

It takes time and serious effort in order to understand someone, above our own mind. But once you start to sit back and listen, you will be surprised to which connection you will be able to go, in your communication and your understanding.

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